November 6, 2010 at 1:07 am

Seth and the Truth

Some days I wonder what were we thinking?  Four children?  Four sons?  Thankfully it is not often.  Although busy, chaotic, loud, and boisterous it is the big family that we wanted.  But then there are days like today.

Right now I am sitting in the living room in a face off with my tween.  At ten and a half he is in fifth grade and is now a middle schooler.  With all the joys that middle school brings.  Discussions of clothes, shoes, and scheduled “hangout times”.  Because, of course, a play date is way to juvenile for the young gentlemen.  And the last minute “can he sleep over”.  Because middle school boys can sleep over at each other’s houses, but don’t you dare call it a sleepover.  That is soooo girl.

But I digress, right now we are facing off.  A battle of the wills is being raged as we sit in silence.  Me typing away on my laptop.  He is fiercely scribbling in a notebook.  All because of the Truth.  It is missing in the midst of this ever-changing tale he weaves.  What he doesn’t realize, in his young ways, is that all along we have known the Truth.  We just want him to hand it to us.

Today I was cleaning up the kitchen.  Hand washed a ton of dishes.  Mopped the floor.  While wiping down the counter tops a piece of paper stuck out from under the microwave.  I pulled it, and there was a “fortune teller”.  One of those meticulously folded and shaped pieces of paper that when perched up on the fingertips of adolescent boys and girls it miraculously can foresee what your life will be.

I have to admit, I have never made one myself.  Not really my cup of tea.  Having been a pre-teen girl and having not made one, I was a bit intrigued that my son would.  I unfolded all the edges and there in front of me were eight futures scrawled across the page.  Some mundane.  Others had the extravagant nature of millions of dollars.  But there on that crumpled page were two futures I was not pleased to see.  Stereotypical of the vernacular of young boys, but not things I want to hear from my son’s mouth or penned in his hand.

Daddy D and I discussed it this afternoon on the phone.  We wanted to talk to him about it.  To tell him that those words were not okay.  Not things we wanted him to hold in his heart.  But when we started to talk to him about it the indignant denial began.  He didn’t write the words.  Another kids at lunch did.  Then it became a kid on the bus.  On and on it went.  His web was so thick that even he, the spider weaving it, could not find his way around.

Finally I asked for his notebook.  The one he jots his story ideas down in.  I painstakingly matched up each letter scrawled across the paper with those written in his own hand in the notebook.  The evidence was irrefutable.  He caved.  So now we sit.  Waiting for Daddy D to return from his monthly meeting.  Seth steamily angry that we were not duped.  I am more angry that he would not just tell the truth and let us have a conversation about sensitivity and stereotypes.  I was not counting on this Truth lesson in the meantime.

I don’t like it.  Not one bit.  But in my quiet time in wait I think about how this is just the beginning.  How every day gives me more and more glimpses into the teenage years approaching.  And I think about if I had waited longer in between boyz there might not be so many.  Because as adorable and cuddly as they are as infants this teen thing is not looking very fun.  Lucky me.  I have another eighteen or so years of this.

On the flip side, in eighteen years I will be the mother of four grown men.  We will come out the other side of this, and hopefully these life lessons of now will be learned.  Maybe, just maybe, the hard work will pay off.  Seth and the Truth being the best of friends.  Today that is what I am focusing on.

Seth on a day that wasn’t so hard for us both.


  1. Ugh I'm so not looking forward to these days. The “lies” are already coming out in my 8 year old. When we speak to him, he does the same, and then is caught. When we talk it always comes down to truth….we've been there and done that. Hopefully they will learn early on, and realize the truth is the best way to go and the only way to go. Good Luck!

  2. Heather @ Girl Gone Mom says:

    Aww sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. So not looking forward to raising a teen either.

    Hang in there momma, it sounds like you're doing all of the right things.

  3. Aww I'm sorry! Hopefully these moments are few and far between!

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